Zombie Stories

Zombies are everywhere, and we don’t just mean shambling corpses on TV. We mean the person crossing the street while hypnotized by a phone screen, the couple doomscrolling at dinner, and the eerie feeling of driving home on autopilot then realizing you can’t remember the last ten minutes. We start there because the zombie is more than a monster. It’s a fear that we can lose control of our minds while our bodies keep going. 

Then we go hunting for the “real” zombie stories that hide inside history and folklore. Mitch shares a chilling account from his Osage family history: a man poisoned, buried beneath red rocks, and later seen walking town like a ghost, eating from spirit plates because everyone assumes only the dead would dare. From there we step into Icelandic legend with the draugr Glamour, a soulless revenant fought by the hero Gretir, and the curse that lingers after the body is burned to ash. 

We also talk about zombie-like persistence in conflict zones, where drugs, adrenaline, and belief can keep people moving long past normal limits, and we weigh that against Haitian zombification lore where control, captivity, and stolen identity are the real horror. Barnaby Laughing Moon drops a nightmare-fuel “nature zombie” too: cordyceps-style fungi that hijack insects, march them upward, and turn them into spore factories. By the end, we’re left with one big question that ties it all together: if something can steer your body, what happens to your self? 

Subscribe for more legends, lore, and strange history, then share this episode with a friend and leave a review so other curious listeners can find us. What’s your definition of a zombie?

Transcript

SPEAKER_13 0:26

Hi there. Just to let you know, we are out of muffins today. Our special is a double chocolate super syrup mocha. What can I get going for ya?

SPEAKER_08 1:14

Coming to you live from the fox's wedding, ten clicks north and twenty clicks east of Springfield. Welcome to the Dr. Kitsune Odd Bob Uncanny Coffee Hour.

SPEAKER_09 1:27

Where we're always respectful with a touch of impish irreverence. We tell stories with wit and wisdom and a little greepiness.

SPEAKER_06 1:42

Well, hello there. How you been getting on? I'm Sortia, the only one in the uncanny coffee hour studio who can technically turn into a horse if the occasion calls for it. I help these two idits, Dr. Kitsune and Odd Bob, to bring tales of the strange and stories otherwise unheard alive. Cadmila Falche. Pull up a chair and I'll go and get the kettle on.

SPEAKER_08 2:10

Brought to you this week by Dr. Kitsune's single malt alder-smoked barley drink. Fresh squeezed, aged just right. Sure to improve even the lowest of spirits. Have you ever had a more have you ever had a mournful Mononoke? How about a sad Shirime? I have an anus eye. Not to worry. Dr. Kitsune's single malt alder smoked barley drink will do the job just right every time.

SPEAKER_13 2:42

Wow. I love this drink.

SPEAKER_08 2:44

Guaranteed not to rip run or snag. Smooth and hairless as Dr. Kitsune's own chest.

SPEAKER_13 2:49

It's like a baby's butt.

SPEAKER_08 2:52

Get some today.

SPEAKER_13 2:53

I had a baby.

SPEAKER_08 2:56

Get some.

SPEAKER_14 2:57

It was a weird looking baby.

Drinks And Studio Banter

SPEAKER_09 3:01

Get some. Hey, it's uh wonderful day. Welcome to another episode here of the Uncanny Coffee Hour. I've got my great co-hosts here, Mitch and Sersha. You guys want to say hi? Hey there.

SPEAKER_06 3:20

Well, hello. Excuse the partial nudity in the studio.

SPEAKER_08 3:27

I don't know why. I wish you'd put your shirt on for this.

SPEAKER_09 3:31

Bob. Sorry. I was just feeling a little warm.

SPEAKER_06 3:35

Thank you. Much better. Next time we can talk about deodorant. Baby steps.

SPEAKER_08 3:42

Hey, why don't we start off with uh since we we usually forget, Sir Sha, what are you drinking today?

SPEAKER_06 3:49

Oh, I'm glad you asked me. I'd be having a verdant bullet sour, an odd bob original. Maybe we add it to the website.

SPEAKER_08 3:59

That's right. You can you can find the recipe for that drink on our website, and it sounds delicious.

SPEAKER_14 4:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 4:08

And nutritious. Like a wagon wheel. Like a wagon wheel. Oh, only people from the 1970s and 80s would uh remember that.

SPEAKER_09 4:18

Rock me, baby, like a wagon wheel?

SPEAKER_08 4:20

Schoolhouse rock. No, not schoolhouse rock.

SPEAKER_09 4:22

Schoolhouse rock. Yeah, rock uh school of rock.

SPEAKER_08 4:25

Not school of rock, schoolhouse rock.

SPEAKER_09 4:26

I know schoolhouse rock. What do you mean? Wagon wheel drinking, I'm not making the association.

SPEAKER_08 4:32

So it was like, I'm just a Bill.

SPEAKER_09 4:34

Yeah, yeah. I know that one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 4:37

It was the educational like shorts that were in between cartoons. Yeah, but what does that have to do with whiskey? It was no wagon wheel. It was the guy who would say, have yourself a a nutrition, delicious, nutritious snack. Take two ribs crackers and the cheese guy. Take a hunk of cheese and some.

SPEAKER_06 4:54

They're wired to the moon for sure.

SPEAKER_08 4:55

Yeah, the cheese sausage and put it in the back.

SPEAKER_09 5:00

Yep, yep. I'm I know I got the words wrong, but you get what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_06 5:04

No, I don't.

SPEAKER_08 5:05

You had to be there, Surcha. Hanging for a hunk of cheese. That's it. That's like a wagon wheel.

SPEAKER_06 5:11

You are crazy.

SPEAKER_08 5:12

I forgot the wagon wheel part. Yeah, they put it in two Ritz crackers and it rolls. Yeah. Like a wagon wheel. Yeah. Anyway.

SPEAKER_06 5:19

So, what are you drinking?

SPEAKER_08 5:20

What am I drinking? You want to get us off that?

SPEAKER_06 5:23

Yes, please.

SPEAKER_08 5:24

What am I? I am having some delicious Dr. Kitsune's marvelous miracle wellness tea.

SPEAKER_05 5:35

Real tea would be amazing.

SPEAKER_08 5:37

Notice how how chipper I am?

SPEAKER_05 5:40

Yeah. You've been downright cuddly today.

SPEAKER_08 5:43

That's right. It's not just the drugs. Prescription drugs, by the way.

SPEAKER_05 5:48

Yum.

SPEAKER_08 5:49

Bub, what are you drinking today?

SPEAKER_09 5:52

I thought you two would never ask. I am not having coffee. You're gonna be surprised by that.

SPEAKER_06 5:58

Shocked.

SPEAKER_09 5:58

What is that stuff? It is It's green. Mate. But you may notice it's a little bit lighter shade than mate. What'd you put in there? A little hemp milk.

SPEAKER_05 6:10

Jesus. Do you bathe in it?

SPEAKER_08 6:13

Hemp. Smoke.

SPEAKER_05 6:14

Milk?

SPEAKER_08 6:15

Milk. Milk.

SPEAKER_05 6:16

Milk.

SPEAKER_08 6:18

I said milk.

SPEAKER_05 6:19

Moo milk?

SPEAKER_08 6:20

Hemp milk. I said milk.

SPEAKER_05 6:21

Hemp milk.

SPEAKER_08 6:22

Hemp milk's good for you. Yes, it is, if you say so.

SPEAKER_05 6:27

The dude abides.

SPEAKER_08 6:29

I prefer my milk to come from the teeth. Mine came from a teat? A hemp teet. A hippie teat? A hemp teat.

SPEAKER_06 6:38

Whoa, dude.

Why Zombies Won’t Go Away

SPEAKER_08 6:40

Alright. So I was thinking today. Yes. For our main topic of discussion, we would talk about zombies. Yes. Oh, zombies. Brain. Brains. Brainchs. Because.

SPEAKER_06 6:59

No brains. Take off the red hat for starters.

SPEAKER_08 7:02

There seems to be a lack of brains in our country at the moment, and I'm worried about the zombies starving to death. Too true. Too true. Zombie nutrition is on the decline.

SPEAKER_14 7:14

Oh no. How will we ever help them?

SPEAKER_09 7:17

So do we make them like a poster or something? Like the for food group sort of thing? Pyramid.

SPEAKER_08 7:22

Yeah. Pyramid of food groups. Yeah, yeah. For zombies. What would junk food be? Anything with a red hat? Uh Fox News.

SPEAKER_09 7:31

That's junk food. At the top of the at the top of the pyramid is like pure research papers. Science. Yeah, at the bottom is Fox News.

SPEAKER_08 7:46

Okay, so no, really, I think there are some real life stories. It's not all supernatural. There's some real life stories about zombies.

SPEAKER_06 7:53

You bet your furry tanuki truffles.

SPEAKER_08 7:56

And not just stuff from like um TV shows and stuff. Or or from Pacific Islands or, you know, oh yeah. From Tayuno, you know.

SPEAKER_09 8:07

Well, it's all over the place. So this is one of the complaints that my wife has. Yeah. Is that every time you turn on the TV, there's a zombie somewhere. It doesn't matter. Like, even if it's just some show that you're you're getting into like You mean like that space show you made me watch? There's that one episode in the fourth season where all of a sudden there's whatever Vulcan zombies in this special region of space. That was an actual episode where they had really it was actually pretty good. But yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

Matter of opinion.

SPEAKER_09 8:34

She was like, why? Why with the zombies all the time? And that's an interesting question by itself, but I don't know if we're gonna go there.

SPEAKER_08 8:42

Well, I think there's fear though. There's a fear that we will actually become like just automated bodies, that we will lose control of our minds, that we will be mindless.

SPEAKER_06 8:52

In a cult, I don't have to think for myself.

SPEAKER_08 8:55

Like so many.

SPEAKER_06 8:56

But he says the race is things I'm thinking. That's why I like being poor and paying too much for gas.

SPEAKER_09 9:02

Yeah. Yeah. I mean we we see zombies. Trying to think back to like uh, you know, the first times that I saw zombies because growing up in the 80s, you know, you had there was a decent amount of zombie movies. That was the Romero Reanimator. Yeah, I forget the one, but there was one where there was a guy, Reanimator, I think it was called. Oh, yeah. The reanimator. He had half of a cat. It was like a scientist who had half of a cat, you know, because it was like a hilarious film. You know, it's just one of those things that you have in science places back then. But they gave it the reanimator drug, so there's this half a cat going. It was it would creep me out for years. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, was that Stephen King?

SPEAKER_06 9:41

Yes, I know exactly. I was an extra.

SPEAKER_09 9:43

No, it was it was like a Romero sort of HP Lovecraft story. Oh, it wasn't Tales from the Crypt or No, no, no. It was it was way, it was more B level movie.

SPEAKER_14 9:53

Jeffrey Combs was so young. What a fantastic time.

SPEAKER_08 9:57

Well, Stephen King did a lot of B stuff. That's true. Which he loves it, you know.

SPEAKER_09 10:01

I he's one of my thing is that Stephen King, I want his movies when it says it was a Stephen King novel, I want them to be really good, but then a lot of times they end up being just horrible movies.

SPEAKER_06 10:11

Yeah, the stories are often banjacks.

SPEAKER_09 10:13

No offense to anybody out there who's listening to us. Like we like you listening to us if you produced one of those horrible movies.

SPEAKER_08 10:20

But I well, I I love I loved his gun gunslinger series, and uh I mean it was the best writing he's ever done, I believe. And uh yeah, the movie just tried to cram all the books into one movie, which yeah, daddy added check check. It's like the the the director forgot the face of his father or something. Yeah. Anyway, um zombies. Yep. You know, I I see zombies out there all the time on the streets these days. There's fast movers. I think those are the the ones that are on meth, and then there's the the slow movers. I think those are the ones that are kind of nodding on heroin.

SPEAKER_09 11:04

What are what are the ones that are uh just on their phones like trying to take a selfie and they fall off a cliff or my gods?

SPEAKER_08 11:10

The what would you call that?

SPEAKER_13 11:12

Not a those are idits.

SPEAKER_08 11:14

A data zombie or a preoccupied zombie.

SPEAKER_09 11:18

Oh no. I swear I've seen people like almost run into me, people crossing the street, not really paying attention to whether the walk sign is on or not, you know. Yeah. And their face is just in their phone.

SPEAKER_08 11:28

Well, yeah, I think the worst of it is when you got two zombies on a date and you look across the restaurant and there's uh two people that are just looking at their phones instead of talking to each other across the table.

SPEAKER_09 11:39

Look, you're describing my wife and I every night. You're an iZombie. When we sit some sometimes when you sit down to watch TV and it's like you start to realize like the TV's on, but we're both on our phones independently from each other. Do you text each other? Not actually watching, no, not actually watching TV. Sometimes I do. I've tried doing that to her before where I'll text her.

SPEAKER_06 12:02

She ignores you like any smart woman would.

SPEAKER_08 12:04

My wife and I actually will send each other messenger clips on Messenger while we're in the same room. Just because we want the other one to see the cute dog or the cute fox we're looking at, or the cute bat, you know, the flying fox. Yeah. What are you giving me the greasy eyeball for?

SPEAKER_03 12:20

I don't own a phone.

SPEAKER_08 12:21

You don't even own a phone.

SPEAKER_03 12:23

I don't need it.

SPEAKER_08 12:24

She's lived for so many years without any of that.

SPEAKER_03 12:26

Neither do you.

SPEAKER_08 12:28

Not all of us are uh what do they call that where you can talk with your mind?

SPEAKER_03 12:32

Telepathic.

SPEAKER_08 12:33

Telepathic. Not all of us are telepathic. Is it telepathic?

SPEAKER_06 12:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 12:37

Just a smidge telepathic.

SPEAKER_08 12:39

Quit yelling in my head.

SPEAKER_14 12:41

Sorry, love.

SPEAKER_08 12:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 12:43

I think that might be the special tea.

SPEAKER_09 12:46

Have you uh you need to check out um and this is gonna be a a plug that they didn't ask me to do, but the telepathy tapes. It's an amazing podcast called The Telepathy Tapes, where they're looking into uh non-verbal autist that can have telepathy with usually their primary caregiver.

unknown 13:06

Cool.

SPEAKER_06 13:06

What? Did you lot not already know about that? Jesus. Dumb humans.

SPEAKER_09 13:12

It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. Yeah, it is really cool. Anyway, we should talk about that in another episode. This episode we're talking about zombies.

SPEAKER_08 13:20

So I actually have a story um about sort of like a zombie. You know, it's a reanimation. I mean, there there's a huge story about one.

SPEAKER_03 13:29

Yes.

SPEAKER_08 13:30

Uh this guy that comes back from the dead. Yeah, from the 60s? No, this guy was like it was like 2025 years ago.

SPEAKER_13 13:40

Oh, do tell.

SPEAKER_08 13:43

This guy came back from the dead. His name was uh Jesus.

SPEAKER_14 13:48

Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

SPEAKER_08 13:50

Oh. Well, you know, that's like the one of the I'm slow.

SPEAKER_14 13:56

I mean, that's I'm not laughing at that.

SPEAKER_09 13:58

If you think about it. That's true. That's true. Yeah, that's what my kids said when I first told them about, you know, because I was raised Catholic. Oh. Yeah, I know. That's all right. When they started asking about asking questions about different religions and stuff, and I described it and described, you know, moving the rock after so many days and stuff.

SPEAKER_06 14:15

They're like You mean Easter?

SPEAKER_09 14:17

Oh.

SPEAKER_06 14:17

You described Easter.

SPEAKER_09 14:19

He's a zombie. Yeah. And I was like, well, and it was awesome because it keeps you interested. Yeah, because Ben was like eight at the time. I never forced religion on any of my kids. I I just informed them and then let them pick because to me it's all kind of the same.

SPEAKER_03 14:33

Some seem to be more deadly.

A Man Buried Alive In Osage Country

SPEAKER_08 14:36

So I have a story. And this comes from the Osage uh side of my family, and it's about this guy named John Stink. And uh kind of a funny name, I know. Yeah. That was his colonizer name, and that's what they called him. But his uh That's unfortunate. His name was Ota Moye. Way better. What's that? Way better. Yeah. Hotaamoye. And uh it I don't know, I've heard different stories that it means like Roaring Thunder. Um, I've also heard him, he had another name like Child of Nature. What what tribe is that? Osage. Uh Washashe. Uh and there's another story there about the name of the tribe. But uh so this guy, John Stink, and this was uh during the the time when there were all the murders going on. Um, you want to see something about the murders, uh, watch that Scorsese film, Killers of the Flower Moon. That's just about one family. Happened to many families. Um, or read uh Linda Hogan book called Mean Spirit. Um I believe there's another book called uh Bloodland or something like that. Uh I don't remember the author. But anyway, just look up Osage Oil Murders and that'll give you an idea about this time. And uh I'm trying to remember who told me the story. I think I got quite a few uncles back there in Oklahoma that told me the story and pieced it together for me. This guy, John Stink, was uh killed. He was poisoned. He drank a lot, and uh he drank so much that he was pretty much pickled, and these people were killing him because he knew something about these oil murders, and so they poisoned his booze. So he drank the poison, and he, for all intents and purposes, died. His heart rate decreased to where it was undetectable, he stopped breathing, and uh he was buried. And back then, uh OSH people buried him in the traditional way, which was underneath a pile of red rocks up on a hillside facing east, so he could see the sunrise. And uh, after his burial, his hound dogs refused to leave the burial pier where he was buried. He had several docks, and they just refused to leave it. So the people left him. He was a bachelor, he didn't have children, and they left him up there. And uh after a day or so, I guess John Stink woke up. I don't think the poison actually took effect, and he was able to claw his way out of this burial mound. Well, for Osage people, if you see a ghost, it's considered very rude to talk to the ghost or to pay attention to it, and that ghost might follow you home, so you don't it's kind of a ghost story, kind of a zombie story.

SPEAKER_09 17:47

Right, don't acknowledge them because you don't acknowledge them.

SPEAKER_08 17:49

And we put out spirit plates with food on them. Yeah. And uh it when John woke up, he thought he was dead. Well, and it proved to the people he was dead because he ate off of the spirit plate. And only a spirit would eat off the spirit plate, right? No, no one would would do some, you know, would disturb a reverent thing like that.

SPEAKER_09 18:13

Well, there are people, but nobody within the tribe, probably.

SPEAKER_08 18:17

So anyway, he's walking around town, he's eating off the spirit plates, the dogs are following him around everywhere, and the Osage people are convinced that he's dead. He's either a ghost or he's walking dead. Right. And uh apparently there was some uh oil workers or some people with the oil companies that were in town, and they had children with them, and the children were running up and down the streets. This is Pahuska, Oklahoma. And uh the kids saw John walking down the street, and he's wrapped up in rags, and the dogs are following him, and he smells pretty bad, and they start teasing him and throwing rocks at him and poking him with sticks, throwing sticks at him and stuff. The Osage people are like, oh my god, these little little white children, right? They're gonna anger the dead. They're gonna get haunted forever.

SPEAKER_14 19:07

But little arseholes.

SPEAKER_08 19:09

The rocks are hitting him, and uh he starts talking to the kids, and the kids are you know yelling and screaming and laughing. And then the people went up and they actually touched him and said, Oh my god, he's alive. Yeah. And uh, so his days of being a zombie were were over.

SPEAKER_09 19:27

Were short. They were short, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 19:29

I don't know how long it went on, but I imagine in my mind it went on for several months. Yeah. That this guy was a zombie walking around town, not eating brains or refilling the plate. Yeah. Well, uh with each, you know, each meal you'd put out a spirit plate.

SPEAKER_09 19:44

It's a sweet gig, really. If you think about it. Like I don't have to talk to anybody, I get free food everywhere. It's kind of cool.

SPEAKER_08 19:52

Yeah, I don't know where he got his beer from, though. Yeah. I mean he but anyway, he was kind of a a hermit and uh lived out in the woods after that. And uh I don't remember when he died, but that that's a story I was told. That's I'm sure there's many versions of the story. Yeah. Um, that's a story I was told, that's a version I was told. I I like to think of John as this kind of lovable zombie ghost. Yeah, I like that story. Walked around.

SPEAKER_09 20:19

That was great. It makes me wonder uh anybody that you you hear about, these people that have near-death experiences. Like there's people that'll be dead for like, you know, whatever, yeah, 20 minutes or something, right? Or frozen. Right. Yeah. Um are they zombies? Maybe. Because they came back from the dead.

SPEAKER_04 20:41

No. Because they still have their soul.

SPEAKER_09 20:43

True.

SPEAKER_08 20:44

What makes a zombie?

SPEAKER_04 20:46

True zombies have no soul.

SPEAKER_08 20:48

I think drugs make a zombie. Or technology.

Draugr Lore From Iceland

SPEAKER_06 20:53

Right. I'll tell you my tale. Now this is about a drager. A drager is what happens when a man is too sour for even the Grave Queen to swallow. There was this fellow, Glamour, big, wall-eyed, and possessed of a temper that could turn fresh milk into curd just by looking at the pail. He was a shepherd in the north of Iceland, a place so cold it'd make a stone shiver. Glamour didn't care for Christmas, didn't care for the church, and he certainly didn't care for the old ways, like yours truly. He went out into a blizzard on Christmas Eve, being stubborn as a goat. And no surprise here, the mountains took him. When they found him, he was blue as a frozen lake and twice as heavy. But he didn't stay still. Oh no. The glamour came back. He came back without his soul. The Norse don't do wispy. He came back as a droger. Let me tell you, he was solid, bloated, and he was furious. He spent His nights riding the roofs of the farmhouses, kicking the that with heels like sledgehammers until the rafters groaned. He killed the cattle. He scared the wits out of the brave. He was a shadow that grew larger the more you feared him. Then came Gretir. Gretir was a hero, which is just a human word for someone who doesn't know when to run away. He went to the haunted farm and lay down on the floorboards, wrapped in his cloak, waiting. The door burst open. In walked Glamour, his head brushing the lintel, his eyes glowing like two pale moons. He grabbed Gretier's cloak, thinking he'd found an easy meal, but Gretier held on. They fought. More than a tanuki when you pry his bottle from him. They tore the benches from the stone walls like a kitsune looking for the remote. They smashed the door frames to splinters. It wasn't a sword fight, it was a bone-breaking, floor-shattering tumble in the dark of night. Gretir finally threw the monster down, right at the threshold where the moonlight hit the floor. Now here's the bit that chills me. Right before Gretir could finish him, Glamour looked him dead in the eye and spoke. He didn't growl, he cursed him.

SPEAKER_01 23:19

From now on, these eyes of mine will always follow you in the dark. You'll see them every time you close your own.

SPEAKER_06 23:31

Gretir won the fight, he did. He chopped the head off the thing and burned the body to ash. But he never liked the dark again. Every shadow became glamour's eyes. Even a hero, it seems, can be haunted by a grumpy dragger who wanted to be left to his raiding in the cold. And that's a real story. Told to me by the wee Nisafolk of living near a hogger this side of the Dovra Mountains.

SPEAKER_08 24:01

There's this uh kind of opium. So I I started hearing the stories when I was in Afghanistan. Uh I was stationed in Helmand province, and there are these uh special forces guys I was talking uh talking to, and that was RC Southwest. And they were telling me about a firefight they'd gotten into um with these anti-government elements. Yeah, we'll we'll call them Taliban just for lack of a better word for them. Okay. But uh if you uh want to read uh an article on Taliban, you should look up this article called uh Afghanistan, a chaotic cannibalistic state. And it's uh in Small Wars Journal.

SPEAKER_09 24:45

Did you write that?

SPEAKER_08 24:46

I might have written that. But anyway, uh these SF guys were talking to me about uh fighting these anti-government elements, and uh that no matter how many times they shot them, they would just keep coming and keep coming and keep coming, and they were uh not I once knew this bloke and cookenny. Come on now. Anyway, they would keep fighting and fighting and fighting. It says that we have the humor of a 12-year-old. I know, exactly. Because you do, they would just keep fighting and fighting no matter how much they would shoot them, unless they got a headshot on them. Uh-huh. And uh all they could figure is that it was uh they were drugged up on something. You know, some sort of opiate, some sort of methamphetamines. And I I know that uh during World War II, Nazis were experimenting with methamphetamines. Yes. And uh but something about this, they were saying these guys would just fight and fight and fight, even though they were mortally wounded, even though they were bleeding out, and in many cases had bled out, they would continue firing their weapons until a headshot was gotten. And uh, it sounded very zombie-like to me.

SPEAKER_09 25:59

Yeah, well, there's this other case. Um it's called the the Mao Mao Uprising in the 1950s. Yeah. If you've ever heard of that.

SPEAKER_06 26:08

I is Zah It was uh Nassasane Salah.

SPEAKER_09 26:13

It was the Brits fighting in Kenya. Yeah, I was gonna say that sound reminded me of Africa. And they described like a hor hordes of these people that they said were like zombies because they would have life-threatening injuries sustained but still keep coming.

SPEAKER_08 26:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 26:27

And it turned out to be that it was um extreme religious or adrenaline-fueled behavior uh paired a lot of the time with some sort of a drug. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 26:38

That would keep them coming. Yeah. I was um struck by shrapnel uh from an explosion when I was at I was 20 years old. And uh Have you ever been hit in the face by baseball?

SPEAKER_09 26:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_08 26:53

That's what it felt like. My mind didn't I I didn't think, oh my god, I've been shot, I'm gonna die. It was I thought my friend Guderjan had actually butt stroked me with his rifle.

SPEAKER_06 27:08

I'm sorry. He did what with his boat and hit me in the face with it.

SPEAKER_09 27:12

With his rifle, Sersha.

SPEAKER_08 27:14

Yeah, with the butt of his rifle. And uh yeah, I didn't I didn't realize that until later, until I felt the blood on my uh soaking through my flak vest and my my shirt and running down my face. And then uh, you know, and funny thing, what goes through a a 19, 20 year old kid's mind when you're wounded in the face isn't oh my god, I'm gonna die. It's ah shit. I'm never gonna get laid now.

SPEAKER_09 27:43

That's right.

SPEAKER_08 27:45

It's not pretty no more.

SPEAKER_03 27:47

Yeah, I'm not not like you would be getting laid anyway.

SPEAKER_08 27:50

Oh, well, thank you, Sersha.

SPEAKER_03 27:51

Oh, I'm hilarious. I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_08 27:53

She's talking to me. Anyway, so back to the zombie thing. I gotta put my shirt back on. Uh I think one of the guys called the drug Red Rock Heroin, but I'm not sure I looked that up online, and that's not at all what they were describing. What they're describing was uh uh methamphetamine uh mixed with heroin, uh kind of bound together with opium and some. If I might interrupt.

Fungal Zombie Insects And Cordyceps

SPEAKER_06 28:17

What is it, mi wee friend?

SPEAKER_10 28:19

I heard you talking about zombies, and well, ran out because I thought you may like to see a real zombie. Take a look at this.

SPEAKER_05 28:31

A mouldy almond half.

SPEAKER_10 28:33

Mind the mushrooms. They've got ears, you know. Or at least they've got intentions. You see this little fellow here. That's a field cricket. Well, it was a field cricket before the white mist got inside his noggin. Now, imagine you're him. Small. The grass is a forest of emerald pillars, and your only worry is whether that robin overhead is looking for lunch. You are going about your merry crickety way, when one evening, while you're rubbing your wings together, making that scritch-parrich, scritch per rich. Anyway, you are singing to the moon, maybe looking for some cricket sexual healing when a tiny dust falls, just a speck, like a bit of soot from a chimney. It sticks to your back. You try to shake it off, but you can't. It's already burrowing. It doesn't hurt too much. Not yet. No, it feels like a heavy thought you can't quite remember now. A day passes, and your legs feel like lead. A leaf falls nearby. Usually you'd jump at the shadow of a falling leaf, but now you have no interest in hiding. You feel this strange urge, an ache, a hunger to climb higher. You start to climb. You leave the safety of the dirt and you climb. You bypass the cozy holes and you climb. Up higher than you have ever been, and you still climb. An urge you were never meant to have. Your tiny brain is screaming, go down, go deep. But the itch in your joints says, up, higher, climb on to the sun. You reach the very tip of a tall blade of fescue, and a storm in your mind causes your hooks to lock tight. You couldn't let go now if a dragon belched a fiery breath on you. Then you feel yourself fading away. You are no more. The itch becomes a bloom. Out from your neck, out from your joints. Long white threads sprout into the void. They aren't yours, but they're wearing your skin. You become a monument to your unseen attacker. You are but a shell. Then poof, a gust of wind, a cloud of spores, and the cycle starts all over again on your cousins and brothers below. A cruel fate? Maybe. That's the way of the wood. Now, pass me that dandelion wine, will you? All this talk of spores is making my throat feel a bit fuzzy. Jesus.

SPEAKER_06 31:58

Thank you for that real-life example of a zombie. I don't think I'll be able to eat mushrooms for a while.

SPEAKER_10 32:05

You are most welcome. Oh, excuse me.

SPEAKER_06 32:10

Barnaby Laughing Moon, everyone. Thank you again for the story.

SPEAKER_08 32:14

Do you have any stories you'd like to add?

SPEAKER_06 32:16

I do have a story of sorts. This was from a caller into the podcast. Let me present Mary and her story.

SPEAKER_00 32:26

You think the grave is the end of the story? For some, it is only the middle. Back in 62, I remember because the sun of Burn, you know? There was a man named Clervius Narcis. Now, this didn't happen here in Ao Hills, but across the water in Haiti. Though the spirits don't much care for borders when they have a depth to collect. Clervius was a man of business, but he had a falling out with his own blood over land. You know how land makes people's hearts turn to stone. They say his own brother went to a bocor. And if you don't know what that is, then let's just say he makes that guy with no nose in Harry Potter look downright friendly. No nose thing was so gross. Anyway, Clairvius' brother went to him to have him erased. First came the fever, then the coughing of blood. The doctors at the American hospital, they poked, they prodded, and mumbled amongst themselves. But Clairvius's breath just it slipped away. Two doctors signed the paper. Official, dead as a cursed doornail. They buried him the next day under a heavy slab of earth. But death was not finished with him. Clervius be lying in the dark. He heard the dirt hit the wood. He felt the cold air run out. But Clervius cannot move a finger. Clervius cannot scream. That night the Bokor came to the grave. He called Clervius's name. And the body of Clervius, not the soul, mind you, just the body, it obeyed. Well now, you know they duck him up, beat him to wake the senses, and led him away in chains. For 18 years, that man worked the sugar fields like a ghost in the sun. They fed him the zombie cucumber. The zombie cucumber be a paste that keeps the mind in a fog, so you forget your name, your mother, your god. It wasn't until the master died that the fog cleared. Then, in 1980, a man walked into a village marketplace and approached a woman named Angelina. He didn't look like a ghost. He looked like a man who had walked through hell and brought the dust back with him. Angelina, he said, using the childhood nickname only her brother knew. The village went silent. The dead don't are not to come back. But there he was, telling the tale of the coffin and the fields. There he was, his soul returned to him. So when you walk past the cemetery at night, don't fear spirits in the air. The thing to fear is the one who was forced to leave the grave behind.

SPEAKER_09 36:04

And it put me in a zombie, very uh susceptible state. Yes. It's not the same.

SPEAKER_08 36:14

I don't think it's the same. Oh, okay. You know, I gotta say that when I would cook at Shoji's, I was kind of like a zombie because I was automated and I my mind wasn't there. Yeah. I think it's kind of like when people do things for money, a lot of times they put their mind somewhere else and right.

SPEAKER_09 36:36

Or you space out when you're driving. How often is that do you do that? Where you're just doing the same drive you've done a million times, but then you just sort of like snap out of it and you're like, what just happened for the last time?

SPEAKER_08 36:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 36:46

Is zombiism just a form of hypnosis? Is that a zombie? People call their loved ones zombies when they end up in the hospital, but maybe have some like neurological function, isn't there, or whatever, you know? Or there's the fungal zombie bugs.

SPEAKER_06 37:00

Like Barnaby story.

SPEAKER_09 37:02

Okay, now we're getting into like more what I would say scientific zombies. Real scientific zombies, right? So cordyceps is what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_08 37:09

Oh, cordyceps.

SPEAKER_09 37:10

I was drinking that stuff when I was at the academy, when I was at Fletsi. That's the the uh better than coffee dirt substitute thing.

SPEAKER_08 37:24

I tried some of that.

SPEAKER_09 37:25

It's awful.

SPEAKER_08 37:26

I'd mix it with my matcha, and it was like I was on cocaine.

SPEAKER_03 37:29

Tell me more, flower children.

SPEAKER_08 37:31

Holy crap.

Dementia Fears And Losing Control

SPEAKER_09 37:32

I I tried the one they mix with cocoa. They give it to you with whipped cocoa, and so it's like it's kind of like drinking like a hot chocolate or something. And it was it was a substitute for coffee, but god, it tasted horrible.

SPEAKER_08 37:42

I thought I was gonna die.

SPEAKER_09 37:44

Yeah. So So, cordyceps, we should talk about.

SPEAKER_02 37:48

Barnaby, do you feel ignored? Better late than never.

SPEAKER_09 37:52

So that story, what makes it truly horrific is that feeling of being able to watch everything happen to you, but not being able to do anything about it. Being completely helpless.

SPEAKER_08 38:05

Yeah. I think that I think that's one of the fears of uh being a zombie is that uh you know you you can't do anything about it. Maybe that's what it's like to have Alzheimer's or dementia. Yeah. Is that you uh you see everything happening, but you cannot get yourself out of that state.

SPEAKER_09 38:28

Yeah. So this is a real thing that happens to insects. I'm curious if um as a as a ranger, did you ever see any insects? Zombie insects? Yeah. Because apparently they they're around here too. I uh wouldn't be able to tell.

SPEAKER_08 38:44

I I have seen they have like bright stalks coming out of their joints and stuff. Moths that are being eaten, and butterflies that are being eaten by ants. Uh-huh. And the ants are actually inside of their body, and I can see their their legs and their wings twitching like they're still alive.

SPEAKER_03 39:00

Gross, dude.

SPEAKER_08 39:01

But they're not alive, they're being eaten from the inside out. That's just something eating it, right? Yes, that's being eaten from the inside out.

SPEAKER_02 39:08

Well no.

SPEAKER_08 39:10

No, Sertia. No.

SPEAKER_11 39:14

Get back to your drink.

SPEAKER_09 39:17

Jesus and rice. I don't know if you've seen the show The Last of Us or not. That's Elaine Miles.

SPEAKER_08 39:24

Oh, yeah. My friend. Yeah, yeah. Elaine Miles is in that show. Yeah. Yeah. She's great. She's always wearing the blingiest fanky beaded earling earrings. Yeah, it's it's it's awesome.

SPEAKER_09 39:34

It's such a good show, but that's all about cordyceps affecting humans. And Elaine, if you're listening to this, shout out. Yeah. I'm in awe. She's she's amazing. She's a great actress. Um, but I I made my son really upset because we were watching an episode of it, and he doesn't like mushrooms at all. And we're watching an episode, and it's some big scene, and it's like one of the first big scenes that they had where there's a lot of these zombie guys, and then there's like the monster big, big zombie guy. Yeah. And it could have been the monster big guy, or it could have been some other guy in the foreground, but somebody walks by and they basically have what looks like a shiitake mushroom growing out of their head. And I was like, oh my god, I just want to hold that guy down and chew on his head. And and my son, my son just turns around with the meanest look I've ever seen on his face.

SPEAKER_12 40:24

And he's like, No, no, dad.

SPEAKER_09 40:28

No. Just no, just say no. Just say no. But anyway, yeah, so cordyceps are a real thing, just not with humans. Not yet. You know, it's interesting how many different ways organisms find ways to live and propagate on this planet.

SPEAKER_08 40:50

Well, uh, I think about sentience, you know, our our definition of sentience of being a sentient being, and uh it might there might be greater sentience on this planet than than we can uh fathom. You know, mycelium layers might be uh connected.

SPEAKER_09 41:10

That's what I was just thinking of. The actually the the I think it's the biggest organism on earth is in eastern Oregon. It's a mushroom. Is it?

SPEAKER_08 41:18

I thought it was uh aspen.

SPEAKER_09 41:21

I thought so.

SPEAKER_08 41:22

It's I think it's an aspen grove that's joined by the mycelium layers of mushroom.

SPEAKER_09 41:25

Armelia Oste. I'm no I'm saying it wrong, in eastern Oregon, it's a lot of organism on Earth. Covers 2,300 acres and it's thousands of years old.

SPEAKER_08 41:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 41:38

It kills trees by strangling their roots. So that's like a that's like a slow-mo zombie. That's like the slowest zombie. Right? It's a slow mover.

SPEAKER_08 41:49

That's definitely a slow mover.

SPEAKER_09 41:50

Yeah. But that's kind of a trip, right? Like it is it's doing its uh doing its thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 42:01

Bob has added a new part to our web page. Yes. And it is the Baku section. Yeah. What do you call that? The Baku Worry Worry Eater. The Baku Worry Eater. I want you to, everybody to log on to the web webpage or go into the webpage and uh oh you know, on the interweb. And uh take a look at the Baku Eater. It is one of the coolest apps I've seen in a long time. Uh, I've enjoyed it, and uh, it really did make me feel a little better. And if you feed the Baku, the Baku will grow. And maybe we can get the Baku eater to eat some of our nightmares that are living. UncannyCoffee Podcast.com. Oh, yeah, there's other games.

SPEAKER_09 42:50

There's a lot of other games, but the baku's the newest one. Cool.

SPEAKER_08 42:53

Yeah. Is that the one where the aliens abduct cows?

SPEAKER_09 42:57

There's one with the aliens abducting cows. I it's just me having fun with programming. Ah, so yeah. The bakuat. There's a lot of weird stuff. The baku eater is there. Yeah. And uh the baku's probably the best thing that I've made so far. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 43:08

You'll also find a picture of Odd Bob and a picture of yours truly. I'm the one that looks like a cross between Antonio Banderas and Bruce Lee.

SPEAKER_09 43:20

This has been a cool episode. I feel like we have more in us to talk about zombies. Maybe in another time.

SPEAKER_05 43:26

Electric Bogaloo.

SPEAKER_09 43:28

Yeah, we can still have we have other episodes out there that we still need to do a part two for, so this may become another one of them. But this is a great talk. Um, thanks for joining me. Yep.

SPEAKER_06 43:39

Always a pleasure, gents. It was fun.

SPEAKER_08 43:42

If you enjoyed the conversation, make sure to subscribe and leave us a review. It helps other seekers of truth find their way to our table.

SPEAKER_05 43:53

If you don't leave a review, I might just have to follow you home and rearrange the silverware.

SPEAKER_09 43:59

And um A huge thanks to my co-hosts and to all of you listening and to our executive producer.

SPEAKER_08 44:06

Alright. Keep your minds open and your head on a swivel. We'll be back with more legends and lore later.

SPEAKER_02 44:13

Until then, stay strange, mortals.

SPEAKER_07 44:20

Thanks for listening. Join us next time for more uncanny chats and coffee and tea. You can find out more about us, read show notes, and get your uncanny merch at www.uncannycoffeepodcast.com. Until next time, remember.

SPEAKER_08 44:43

Never whistle at night. Red hats are not a good place for zombie nutrition. And above all else, remember.

SPEAKER_14 44:52

We are not all monsters.

SPEAKER_09 44:58

Thanks to all of our listeners out there. Uncanny Coffee Hour is produced by Bob Messon and Mitch Kyoto Kitsune.

SPEAKER_08 45:07

Executive producer Gracie the Wonder Dog. Uncanny Coffee Hour is copyright protected by all laws, foreign domestic, and ubernatural by the Unseally Court. Do they put up pictures of us?

SPEAKER_09 45:42

No, I don't think you put up pictures of us. I mean the in Tanooki and Kitsune form, maybe. Oh, okay. All right. All right.