The Uncanny Coffee Hour with Dr Kitsune and Odd Bob
From Yokai and Bigfoot sightings to spirits, other-worldly beings and UFO encounters, we share stories and interviews; exploring evidence, theories, and philosophical implications. Always respectful with a touch of impish irreverence, we gather stories with wit and wisdom encouraging a strong look at Indigenous perspectives.
This project has been brewing in our minds for years and now with the help of our community (including the uncanny world) we are making it a reality.
The Uncanny Coffee Hour with Dr Kitsune and Odd Bob
Spirits of the Ancient World: Mayan Alux and Aztec Water Monsters
Step into the mysterious world of Mesoamerican mythology with Dr. Kitsune, Odd Bob, and Saoirse as they explore two fascinating supernatural beings that have captivated imaginations for centuries.
The journey begins with the Mayan Alush (or Alux), territorial earth spirits no bigger than your knee. These protective beings guard homes and cornfields when properly respected—but turn mischievous when neglected. Through the tale of Mateo, a struggling farmer whose fortunes change dramatically after building a tiny stone house for these spirits, we discover the delicate balance between blessing and curse. When Mateo forgets the ancient warning to seal the dwelling after seven years, his once-helpful guardians begin braiding entire cornfields into impossible patterns and causing chaos throughout his property.
Then we dive into the terrifying world of the Aztec Ahuizotl, a fearsome aquatic predator with a hand-like appendage at the end of its tail. This cunning monster mimics the cries of a human baby to lure compassionate souls to the water's edge before dragging them underwater to harvest their eyes, teeth, and nails as offerings to Tlaloc, the rain deity. The heart-pounding story of Yolotli, a fisherman who narrowly escapes the creature's clutches, brings this legend vividly to life.
Between these captivating tales, our hosts share drinks—from jasmine pearl tea to Bloody Marys with locally sourced bacon—and plenty of irreverent banter that makes you feel like you're sitting right alongside them. The episode perfectly balances educational content about Indigenous mythology with the warm, conversational style that makes this podcast so engaging.
Whether you're fascinated by folklore, indigenous cultures, or just love a good supernatural tale told with wit and authenticity, this episode offers something special. Listen now and discover what ancient warnings we might still need to heed today—and remember, if you hear a baby crying near water, it might not be what it seems...
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I'm an evil-minded man. We'll keep you evil-minded too. Get evil, cause there's nothing else to do. Come on.
Speaker 2:Come on, get evil cause. There's nothing else to do. Coming to you live from the scarified banks of the Mohawk River, east of Springfield. Welcome to the Dr Kitsune Odd Bob Uncanny Coffee Hour.
Speaker 3:Where we're always respectful, with a touch of impish irreverence. We tell stories with wit and wisdom encouraging a strong look at Indigenous perspectives.
Speaker 4:Well now, hello there and a warm welcome to you all. I'm Saoirse and I'm the one around here with a bit of well, let's call it vocal flexibility. Being a puka, you see, means I don't just tell stories, I become a little piece of them. So if you hear me sounding like an old man one minute and a floaty, teeny, tiny fairy the next, don't you fret, that's just my way of making sure the tale hits home. It all starts with a little. That's a signal, means. I'm tuning the old vocal cords or maybe sprouting a new set, entirely all in the service of a good story. I'm tuning the old vocal cords or maybe sprouting a new set, entirely all in the service of a good story.
Speaker 2:Glad to have your company brought to you this week by Old man Coyote's Fantabulous and Fruity Sweet Gum Mastic. Ever wish your chewing gum wasn't so full of chemicals? Do you need another way to keep your eyeballs from falling out? Just try Old man Coyote's Fantabulous and Fruity Sweet Gum Mastic Guaranteed to give you cleaner and whiter teeth. Or my name isn't Dr Kitsune Yum Warning do not fall asleep with gum in your mouth unless you wish to prove Darwin's theory Getitsa.
Speaker 2:All right, settle in everyone. Grab your favorite mug of whatever keeps you going, Because it's time for another uncanny story. I'm Dr Kitsune and, as always, I'm joined with my fantastic co-hosts Odd Bob and Saoirse. Hey, hey, what's up, man? Not much. We got a full studio today.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Saoirse, what are you drinking today?
Speaker 4:I'm drinking a Bloody Mary with locally sourced bacon and McClure's garlic dill pickles Mmm.
Speaker 2:so good. Almost sinful Drool. Niwa, are you drinking anything? I'm drinking eucalyptus tea. Eucalyptus tea.
Speaker 3:And Odd Bob, how about you? Yeah, yeah, I'm drinking espresso. It's an espresso roast, and guess what? I have in it a little hemp milk.
Speaker 4:Are you from bombay's alpha?
Speaker 2:yeah, I can smell it from here it's.
Speaker 3:It's so good and it has so many good vitamins. Is it just hemp milk? It's hemp milk, but it was refrigerated for a day with R32 Freon substitute.
Speaker 4:Nerd alert.
Speaker 3:Refrigerated. Yeah, I mean I threw it in my fridge for a day. Okay, sometimes in the summer it's nice to do that. You just get a nice cold cup of coffee.
Speaker 4:Blazing summer cold coffee, Do you?
Speaker 2:ever smoke your coffee.
Speaker 4:No, just curious.
Speaker 2:You know, just curious Country fair is coming up.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, that is that's true, although sometimes I do drink my coffee topless.
Speaker 4:Well, praise the saints. This isn't one of those times, moobs, I said it.
Speaker 2:Yes, saoirse, please put your shirt back on. Thank you, both of you keep your clothes off of this episode.
Speaker 3:It's warm in here. Gracie doesn't have a shirt on.
Speaker 4:Hey, man boobies want a pickle.
Speaker 3:Wait a second. Where did you get those pickles Pick?
Speaker 4:a pickle Pick second, where did you get those pickles? Tick, pick a pickle, pick a peck of pickles. So good, I was saving those. Those were mine. This is not your pickle, this pickle is mine. This other pickle, the tiny one that can be your pickle yeah, you're out of bloody mary mix too.
Speaker 2:Just fyi, thank you all right and uh, thanks for asking guys, but oh jesus, I'm drinking jasmine pearl tea, oh sorry.
Speaker 3:And uh, these are I forget, I'm so focused on my Pimp milk.
Speaker 2:Man boobies. It's jasmine blossom tea, but it's hand-picked and hand-rolled, organic and fair source from China.
Speaker 4:I'm poor today Nice.
Speaker 2:And what I hear is they only hire women.
Speaker 4:In Ireland we call that Sexist.
Speaker 2:To pick this tea. It's a woman-owned collective that picks this tea.
Speaker 3:Nice.
Speaker 2:And I was told that they roll the tea pearls on the insides of their thighs.
Speaker 4:I highly doubt that.
Speaker 3:Who told you this? Well, maybe it's just a dream I had.
Speaker 1:I have some bath water to sell you.
Speaker 3:Whatever gets you through a day, man Okay.
Speaker 4:A healthy fantasy life is important.
Speaker 3:So what do you want to talk about today?
Speaker 2:I was thinking maybe we could talk about this old Mayan story about this uh being called a loosh.
Speaker 3:Oh cool.
Speaker 2:And maybe some other Mayan stories too.
Speaker 3:I have an Aztec one.
Speaker 2:You have an Aztec story. What's that?
Speaker 3:Um, uh, who's Zoto? I don't know. Can you pronounce that? Yeah, it's a who's old? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's ah huizou.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, so we could do one each. Yeah, that sounds good, yeah, I like that.
Speaker 2:Maybe Saoirse could help out. Do you want to help out, saoirse?
Speaker 4:You know, I do.
Speaker 2:Or do you just want to drink your Bloody Mary over there, silly?
Speaker 4:Kitsune, I can do both.
Speaker 3:Okay, alright, okay Well, why don't you go first?
Speaker 2:Hey, saoirse, would you mind telling us what an aloosh is, giving us a definition? I'd appreciate it.
Speaker 4:Okay, here goes.
Speaker 2:Skoden.
Speaker 4:Ah, an aloosh, you say. Well now, if I were to explain it, to say my cousin Seamus, I'd say imagine a wee sprite no bigger than your knee, made of the very earth and air of the Yucatan. They're like the stick Indian of the jungle they are, or a mischievous leprechaun who's a dab hand with a cornfield. Mind you, they're not always for the laughs like their northern cousins, an aloosh. Now they're more territorial. They're tied to a place, a milpa, a house. They can be a blessing or a curse, depending on how you treat them. If you build them a little house, leave them offerings. They'll look after your crops, make sure your chickens lay, keep bad spirits away, but slight them, forget their offering and, oh you'll know it, your tools will vanish, your animals will get sick and you might just find yourself walking in circles in your own backyard. So a territorial, earthbound, protective, yet easily miffed, wee folk. That's an aloosh, much like a brownie, with a very strong sense of personal property.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Saoirse. So, with that in mind, could you tell us a story about Nelouch?
Speaker 7:Si, si, si, Ok, no problemo. There was an old farmer named Mateo who lived on the edge of the jungle, just outside a small village in the Yucatan. Mateo was a good man, hardworking and honest, but his cornfields, year after year, just weren't yielding what they used to. He'd tried everything new seeds, different fertilizers, even praying to the old gods, but nothing seemed to help. Nothing seems to help. My family is hungry. One sweltering afternoon, as Mateo was clearing some stubborn weeds, an elder from the village, a woman known for her wisdom, approached him.
Speaker 1:Mateo, you work hard, but you forget the old ways. Have you made an offering to the little ones?
Speaker 7:The little ones, you mean the spirits of the ancestors. The elder shook her head.
Speaker 1:No, not them the Alush. They protect our lands if we respect them. Build a small house for them, no more than waist high, and leave them offerings of corn, gruel, tortillas and a little honey For seven years, they will protect your milpa and your harvest will flourish. But after seven years you must seal the house or they will become mischievous and turn on you.
Speaker 7:Mateo was skeptical, but he was also desperate. The next day he began to build a tiny stone house at the edge of his field, just as the elder had instructed. It was crude but sturdy. When it was finished, he carefully placed a small clay bowl filled with fresh corn gruel, a few tortillas and a dollop of honey inside. The next morning, mateo went to his field expecting nothing, but as he looked out he noticed something different. The corn stalks seemed greener, sturdier, and as the days turned into weeks and weeks into months, his milpa thrived. His corn grew taller than ever before, the ears fat and golden. His chickens laid more eggs than he could count, and a stray dog that had been pestering his livestock suddenly disappeared. Mateo was amazed. He diligently left offerings for the little ones, grateful for their protection. His family prospered and he became known as the most fortunate farmer in the village.
Speaker 7:Seven years passed and Mateo, now a bit older and perhaps a little complacent, forgot the elder's final warning. He was so busy with his bountiful harvests he simply didn't remember to seal the little something. At first it was small things. His tools would go missing, only to reappear in odd places. His favorite hat would vanish from his head and be found hanging from a tree branch across the field. Then it escalated. The ropes on his well would be untied, his chickens would be found roosting in the highest branches of trees and sometimes, late at night, he would hear tiny, echoing laughter from the direction of the Alux house.
Speaker 7:One morning Mateo woke to find his entire cornfield braided into intricate, impossible patterns. Every stalk was intertwined, making harvest impossible. He knew then that the Alux had turned mischievous. Remembering the elder's words, mateo rushed to the tiny house. He found a large stone and, with a heavy heart, sealed the entrance, begging for forgiveness. As he did so, the moment the stone was in place, the laughter stopped. The next day, miraculously, the cornfield was back to normal, though Mateo swore he could still see faint, ghostly outlines of the braids in the dew. From then on, mateo never forgot the old ways. He continued to leave offerings for the land, though he never built another house for the Alux. He learned that respect and remembering your promises were as vital to a good harvest as sun and rain.
Speaker 1:I took your hat.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you, saoirse, that was great, yeah, thanks.
Speaker 4:No bother.
Speaker 3:It makes me wonder if that's why my garden is not coming in very well this year. I'm not leaving enough offerings.
Speaker 2:Well, that could be it. Maybe the offerings you're leaving Aren't the correct offerings. I don't know. The slugs seem to like it, yeah, but when you said you were going to Sow some wild oats out there, I don't think that's the right kind of oats to be sowing.
Speaker 3:Hey, my hops are doing well.
Speaker 2:Your hops are doing well.
Speaker 4:Although here you are more likely to see a Tachuma than an aloosh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there are no al alush up this far, even though this is part of old Aslan up here.
Speaker 4:Further south right.
Speaker 2:You know, no, the border crossed us. We didn't cross any borders.
Speaker 3:So there was another one that we had talked about earlier. Oh, that Azteca story. Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, I'm not even gonna try to pronounce it okay. Yes, say it. What, bob?
Speaker 4:no, I, I, we, ah, we zoto sounds like you're the one that's been drinking all right, this is the comedy bit for all of our listening yeah.
Speaker 2:Are we subtle? Okay, Saoirse.
Speaker 3:Can we just do a rinse and repeat and have Saoirse do the definition and the story?
Speaker 4:Jesus, rinse and repeat. Am I a domestic vodka-fueled plaything to you? I took your pickles. Be thankful, that's all I took.
Speaker 2:No, he didn't call you an Irish washerwoman. Be thankful, that's all I took. No, he didn't call you an Irish washerwoman. He said will you please change your vocal cords? And you can change your look too, if you want. I'm thinking sexy Latina.
Speaker 4:Jesus, yeah, and I'm thinking I wish you two were Henry Cavill and Colomini, but I do with what I've got, what I've got a ting for him.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 4:Chief O'Brien can buff my relay any day.
Speaker 3:Sigh, oh, almost forgot.
Speaker 4:What's that?
Speaker 3:We can do our shout-out segment.
Speaker 5:Oh, shout-out, yeah, the one we started last time.
Speaker 3:So do you have a shout-out?
Speaker 2:Well, I think this time I want to give my shout-out to my son, Niwa, since he's been so patient sitting here during the whole show. So who do you want to shout out to?
Speaker 6:Natsu and Seiji.
Speaker 2:Natsu and Seiji. Okay, here's a little shout out to Natsu and Seiji. I hope you're listening.
Speaker 3:Are those people that you go to school with or friends of yours? Yes, ah, okay.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:Great, okay, okay, yeah, great. And who are you going to shout out to?
Speaker 4:I think I'd like to shout out to joel, joely, joely, because uh you know, I miss your stank smells of kombucha, nutrition and yeast and startups. What's that? Yeah, okay my shout out is more of a warning, connor. You know what you did. I saw when you thought no one was looking and, trust me, you will regret every breath after I get a hold of you and bleed and gee a slap in the kite. Thank ya. Anyone else?
Speaker 3:Okay, I think we better behave ourselves. Yeah, I thought I was behaving myself.
Speaker 4:I have been having unclean thoughts oh well, that's to be expected from you, lot I, then I'm good is he out in a fairy ad?
Speaker 3:you know tanuki gonna tanuk. Okay, so uh, the next story now. Yeah, let's uh sersha, do you mind uh telling that for? Us, but I like you let's do it, let's go then an owie sottle is a legendary creature from aztec mythology.
Speaker 4:Awe Sotil would lure people to the water's edge, often by mimicking the cry of a human baby. Once its victim was close enough, it would use the hand on its tail to snatch them and drag them into the water, where it would drown them. It was said to have a particular taste for their eyes, teeth and nails. Interestingly, there was also an Aztec ruler named Ahuizotl, who took the creature as his emblem and was a powerful and expansionist emperor. Now that you know the basics, it's time for a story, lads.
Speaker 2:Thank you, saoirse, that was great. Really it sounds pretty scary. I mean, its name in Nahuatl actually means spiny water dog, though I think it looks more like a little bit more bizarre than an ordinary canine, arrgh.
Speaker 3:You spiny water doggy Arrgh. And what's the deal with the hand on his tail man? I'd hate to get a handy for that thing. It's like a beaver got into a transporter accident or something.
Speaker 4:Miles O'Brien could fix it.
Speaker 2:But that extra hand could come in handy. You're looking for the handy still.
Speaker 3:Huh, you can't tell me you wouldn't want an extra hand.
Speaker 2:Come on, uh, yeah maybe I mean that might come in handy I gotta hand it to you, you dad's canned porn yes, yes, yes would be good yep, but what? About the, the eyes and the teeth. I mean, that sounds pretty.
Speaker 3:What is happening there Is that like some weird dental plan with a twist. It's like that's like all you could afford anymore. What, Ahuizotl, pulling your teeth? Yes exactly Like that might be my next dentist actually A new vision plan Just pull the eyes out.
Speaker 2:Oh, I have no vision plan yet. Saints preserve us.
Speaker 4:I'll have to do that. Oh, I have no vision plan Saints preserve us what. The Aztecs believed that those taken by the Auisatl were favored by the rain gods. Their bodies, when they eventually washed ashore, would be pristine, unmarred, save for the missing eyes, teeth and nails. This was a sign that they had been chosen for a special purpose, a sacrifice to the water deities. So, while a tragic end for the individual, it carried a certain spiritual significance within their cosmology.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you're right, Saoirse. So it wasn't a monster at all, but it's more of like a hand of the divine. See what I did there. It adds a whole new layer of dread. You know, I thought my biggest fear of water was avoiding a golden shower.
Speaker 2:Oh, you mean like the Russian kind?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I tell you it was the best, the biggest and most wonderful golden shower that I have ever seen in my life. If there ever was a golden shower, it would have been the biggest and the best, because I know it, you know it. Everybody knows it I don't even like peeing myself he pees himself.
Speaker 3:Of that I have no doubt although, you know, I think he wears a diaper and absolutely depends all right all right, well, uh, I think I just going to stick to my coffee, my mug, way away from any of those suspicious splashes. The yellow variety.
Speaker 4:Christ. If you men are done with the pee talk, can I tell the story?
Speaker 2:Okay, thank you, and maybe we could start the story.
Speaker 4:Can I tell the story now, if?
Speaker 2:you would please Pretty, please, dearest Saoirse.
Speaker 4:Okay, ready for the story, let's go.
Speaker 2:Let's go then.
Speaker 6:Now listen close and let me tell you a story from a time long, long ago, back when the great city of Tenochtitlan stood proud on the waters of Lake Texcoco, in the very heart of the Aztec Empire. Back then we understood the world differently, you see. We knew that every little thing, from the tiniest hummingbird flitting by to the grandest jaguar prowling the jungle, had its special place and purpose, had its special place and purpose Out there, in all the lands, of all the strange and wondrous creatures, there is one that makes the bravest heart tremble. This, my compañeros, is just one small whisper of the many, many tales of the Ahuizotl. There once was a good man, a fisherman. His name was Yolotli. One afternoon, while trying to get one last catch before the sun dipped down, he heard it A cry, soft and sad, like a little child weeping. His old heart, full of kindness, tugged him towards the sound. He paddled toward the sound faster. A lost child, perhaps someone who tumbled from another boat or got separated from their family. He paddled closer and closer, squinting his eyes in the fading light. The cry became more desperate, pulling at his very soul. Then, suddenly, a splash, a ripple, then a great surge, and from the murky depths, the Awezotl burst forth. Its eyes gleamed in the light and a strange hand-like tail whipped through the air. Before Yerlotli could even think to react, the hand-tail lashed out On his ankle. There was a grip that wouldn't let go. It felt like the strong, calloused fingers of a Chinampa builder. He was pulled from his canoe in a blink, dragged down into the cold, calloused fingers of a chinampa builder. He was pulled from his canoe in a blink, dragged down into the cold, dark water.
Speaker 6:Now the awizotl wasn't just looking to drown him. No, its purpose was far more chilling than that. It wanted to drag him down deep beneath the surface to its hidden lair. There it would feast. You see, the Awizotl take the eyes, the teeth and the nails, the very parts of the body considered precious offerings for Tlaloc, the rain god.
Speaker 6:But Yolotli, he was no ordinary man. He was a very strong swimmer and a brave warrior. He kicked hard against the Awizotl and, quick as a snake, pulled his knife. He struck the creature many times in that strange hand-tail that snared him. Yolotli broke free and us kicked for the surface.
Speaker 6:He looked back at his aggressor In that crystal clear water. He could see them, the bodies of the other victims, lining the Awizotli's lair, where eyes and teeth should be, instead gaping dark holes in the bloated corpses. The air rushed out as he let out a scream. Pushing with all his might, he burst to the surface gasping for air. He pulled himself back into his canoe and paddled like a madman towards the shore. He could hear the angry cries of the awizoto fading away behind him, swallowed by the mist of the lake.
Speaker 6:He was a truly fortunate man, for those who met the awizoto were rarely seen again. The bodies of the dead were ever found. They bore the unmistakable marks of that creature's gruesome feast. From that day forward, the people of Tenochtitlan looked upon the waters with even greater respect and fear. Upon the waters with even greater respect and fear. They knew then that a mournful cry near the shores could be a trick, a lure from the cunning Awizoto, serving as a powerful reminder of the hidden dangers in the world and to respect the mysterious forces that lie just beneath the surface.
Speaker 3:Ooh creepy.
Speaker 2:Yolotli was pretty lucky.
Speaker 3:Yeah, good thing that he's such a good swimmer. I don't think I would have survived that one. I picture him with big beefy legs. Get away from me all, get to the chopper. That is what I call my canoe, the chopper.
Speaker 2:I think you literally would have passed the ranger swim test yeah.
Speaker 3:I would be a goner, I would be gone you would just find me later.
Speaker 2:I think I would have just givener I would be gone. You would just find me later, yeah.
Speaker 3:I think I would have just given up. I don't know Be like.
Speaker 2:let me see that hand Hell of a hand job All right.
Speaker 3:I think that was a good story.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you. Thank you, saoirse, that was great.
Speaker 4:It's what I do Happy to chime in chums.
Speaker 3:Thanks for joining us on this episode of the Uncanny Coffee Hour. We hope you enjoyed diving into the weird and wonderful world with me, odd Bob, our favorite puka Saoirse.
Speaker 4:Oh, aren't you a treasure.
Speaker 3:And of course Dr Kitsune.
Speaker 2:And don't forget to brew up another cup of your favorite coffee or tea, or whatever you'd prefer to drink Whiskey, because we'll be back next time with more Uncanny Tales. You can find us wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 4:Stay strange everyone.
Speaker 3:Grandpa Spuds, you got anything to add?
Speaker 5:Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening. Join us next time for more uncanny chats and coffee and tea. You can find out more about us, read show notes and get your uncanny merch at wwwuncannycoffeepodcastcom.
Speaker 4:Until next time remember never whistle at night alert the neighbors when the brown shirts are about and, above all else, remember we are not all monsters.
Speaker 3:Thanks to all of our listeners out there.
Speaker 2:Uncanny Coffee Hour is produced by Bob Masson and Mitch Kiyotakitsune. Executive producer Gracie the Wonder Dog. Woof woof. Uncanny Coffee Hour is copyright protected by all laws, foreign, domestic and ubernatural by the Unseelie Court. Woof, remember, don't scratch your balls if you've been handling poison oak.
